Extra Life
A day spent out of focus and in the background.
The director liked my look.
Unfortunately, I can’t divulge the exact show but for the sake of this story let’s just refer to it as,
Baristers and Bobbies: Exceptional Sufferers Division. (B&B:ESD)
Anyway,the casting agent of B&B: ESD called me last night while I was doing my other job (you know the one where I shuttle rappers from Harlem to West Nyack to drive Go-Karts?) and she told me that the director ‘liked my look’ and was I available to potentially photo double?
‘Of course!’ I replied realizing only after I hung up that I had no real idea of the part so what exactly did the director like, I had no idea.
Until today. When the costumer pulls me aside and says, so you’re Zach and you killed your son.
‘Great!’ Apparently, what the director ‘liked’ about my ‘look’ is that I ‘look’ like a child-killer named, Zach.
Which, while we’re on the subject, a guy named Zach doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who’d kill his son. Zach fixes computers. Zach is a class clown. Zach talks to the camera when Slater and Screech do something funny but Zach is not a child killer.
But more importantly, apparently I look like the type of guy who would kill my kids. And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is I am really, really excited and amped to be playing, Zach, the child killing father.
Throw in the fact that it’s zero lines, the same pay rate and, although I don’t know it at the time, a longer day of shooting, and you’d think I would have pushed back a little. Nope. Not me. Where’s my axe?
But wait, another wrinkle!
The costumer then told me that although the director was considering me for the role of Zach I may not ultimately be selected over the other guy whose look he also liked, in which case,
‘No big deal’ she explained, ‘they’ll still use you as a Central Park Pedestrian.’
I’d like to be able to accurately describe the heartbreak I felt when I discovered that I might not actually get to be Zach, the child killing father, but I fear I can’t do my emotions justice with the limited English I’ve mastered.
I felt empty. I felt like if anyone was going to give this role (see:still photo) the gravitas it needed I WAS THAT GUY!
Then I met the other guy they were considering. I’m sure most of you would have to google this name so I’ve taken the liberty of providing a link but he looks like actor, Frank Bonner aka Herb Tarlek from WKRP in Cincinnati.
I’m back in holding now. They’ve cut the other extras. So it’s just me, Herb and the photographer waiting for the director to settle on which one of us will go home empty-handed and which one will be heading for tinsel town and a seat at the head table.
5:45p The Set P.A. just cut us. Herb and I attempted to be cordial all the while knowing that only one of us could be Zach. I thought of how crushed I’d be not to get the part but then I locked eyes with Herb and wondered what this might mean for him? Another night on the 7 train to Queens. Another evening spent watching other actors hit it big. Another aluminum can of Dinty Moore Beef stew, warmed sufficiently on the stove, lid still attached In the end we left never knowing who would actually play the part of Zach, the child killing father.
All they could tell us was… Episode 17. When it airs. You’ll know.
